RusAme rp, The colder war

America pressed certain buttons and channels came up with that language again, he didn't know it, but everyone seemed to be speaking it. He took another sip of his soda, he couldn't enjoy the T.V if he couldn't understand what they were saying, he would just ask Russia to teach him. The soda was sweet and it he liked how it slightly tingled his mouth and throat. He saw Russia in the kitchen cup some food up, he showed him how to use the T.V so the least he could do was ask if he needed to help. He got up from in front of the T.V went in saying, "Do you need help big brother?" not in the kitchen, ut he was making hi way over.

Russia dropped teh knife, leaving the water running to clean to drops of blood out, he put a hand in his pocket, grabbing Americas old gloves and putting them on. He smield at them, America would be back to normal eventually. He stood up and nodded no, He put a gloved hand on his head "No no, Its ok,my sunflower, go sit and enjoy yourself," He said softly and a bit sadly. He felt his vision wobble, and he stood up starght, trying not to fall over. He sat back on his chair. He got out pass and started cooking teh mean in pattys the was he though they were. The meat finished cooking and he but it on the bread, with the other foods he bought. He set it on a plate and handed it it America.

America made it to the kitchen and when Russia said that he didn't need any help he gave a curt nod and said, "Okay!" and went back to fidget with the T.V and maybe try and figure out what they were saying or find something interesting enough were it didn't need words. He ended up watching a movie about WWII and his name was mentioned a few times , and he was a bit confused, because he doesn't remember being in WWII, or maybe he was named after the person who was in WWII, which made a lot more sense. He sat close to the T.V and looked intently at all the shooting the planes and the fighting. Russia had handed him a plate with, meat and some other stuff. It certainly looked like a wide variety of mixed foods in between 2 pieces of bread, he again examined it and was planning to eat anything his big brother made for him. He took a bite and stopped, it was good, no, it was great, it had more flavor than the beets and potatoes that Russia had first given him when he was found. He took another bite, and chewed slowly so that he could savory the flavor.

Russia's hand tingled and were begging more just a few more cuts... only a few..... He got back up, shaking slightly as he took a step and took the knife out of the sink. He held it in his coat and then walked in to his bedroom, "There is more soda in the fridge and more food on the stove, eat and drink as much as you want, just dont touch my glass, Da?" He said before shutting the door behind him, he sat on the floor. hand shaking as he pushed the knife in, he winced and lightly and groned softly at the knife, but the pain melted in to a warm, wet tingle that he had come to love. He made serval more cuts, he shifted after slicing his arms up, he shfted and took off his pants, cutitng his thighs and legs.

America nodded and said, "Okay." then focusing his attention back at the T.V, then after a while he finished his meal and his soda, and was quiet bored. He looked out the window, there was that tempting snow again. He was sure Russia didn't mind if he went outside, it was just going to be out there. He left his plate and drink where it was and then looked around to see if Russia was around, he wasn't. He then went to th front door and opened it, revealing white and untouched snow, it was cold, but he could bear with it. He stepped in it, and smiled at the foot prints he made in the snow

Russia dropped the knife, breathing fast and shallow, but felling better. He sat there for a long time, letting the blood scab and turn the cuts to black. He stood up, each part of his body felling like it was moving a different detraction, he fell back down with a thud, but got back up and shuffled to the door. He set his hand on the door, putting his cloths back on and covering the cuts. He was fine with America not seeing them as long as he didnt ask to sleep with him again. He turned teh door and walked out, "America?" He said loudly, looking around for him. He winced and fell on the couch, letting out a breathy hiss. He felt his heart stop when he saw teh front door cracked open a bit. He spritted at the door. "AMERICA!" He scram bursting out teh door and finding him running in the snow. He could have died. "America! What the hell are you thinking Running out like that! There are other natiosn that want to hurt you and kill you! Why would you want to leave over somting like this!" He hissed at America, he sighed and ran at him, picking him up and carrying him back in. "America..." He said, voice calmer "Dont do that! You could have been kidnapped or hurt!" He said worry over anger in his voice.

America picked up the snow and it was so cold that his hands turned numb he smiled thought because it was white and fluffy. He then heard Russia yell out his name and he turned around with the snow still in his hand. He was yelling at him, he felt a pang of guilt, he didn't know Russia would be so worried, some tears welled in his eyes and he looked at his feet, "I...I'm sorry." people wanted to kill and hurt him? Why? What did he do to anyone? He dropped the snow in his hand and Russia picked him up, and he was sorry, he should have told Russia he was going outside and said, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to play in the snow." being honest, but he felt bad to have made his care taker so worried about, and not meeting his gaze.

Russia sighed, holding America and only setting him down after a long second. Any nation could walk over and take America, and he would be to small to defend himself. He set America down and wiped the tears from his little brothers blue eyes. "Just dont do that,ok?" He smiled at America and kissed his forhead. He stood up, turned his back to America and dield a number on his phone. He started screaming at one of the shippers that brough the stuff to America. He scram at him, he wanted 2 times as much of everything delived to America, and to have more ships helping America. He sighed and hung up the phone. He put a finger under Americas chin, making him look up at Russia. "Its ok, you just need to not do stuff like that when Im not around, ok?" He said smiling, not wanting to go in to detail and hoping America didnt ask about who would want to hurt him.

America nodded and agreed that he wouldn't. Russia had dialed a number and whoever he was taking too, he sounded mad. He heard his names mentioned, but didn't want to get Russia angrier than he already was. He sat there, the question of who want to hurt or kidnap him still lingered in his mind. He smiled and nodded and said, "Yeah, I'm sorry and I won't do it again." he fidgeted a bit and tugged on Russia's coat asking, "Did I do something wrong? why would someone want to hurt me?" he knew there were other's like him and Russia, but he had never met them.

Russia hung up the phone and turned to America, smiling, "No, you have done nothing wrong America" He kneled down and hugged America. "I dont want to have to tell you, your to young, I think I should tell you when your older, untill you are at least a bit taller" Russai avoided the question, how would he even start to explain it? He didnt let America go for a long time.

*time skip to when America is about teen(13)*
America was sitting in front of Russia's T.V, he understood what they were saying now, drinking a soda and his eye's not blinking, Russia said they were going to do some shopping today and he was just waiting for him. He had really grown to care for his big brother from the first day he was found to now. He had learned how to speak Russia and Russia said that when he was older he would learn how to use his first gun. He took frequent visits between his country and Russia's house.

Russia shook himself off, walking over to America. "Ready?" He blankly said, guesting for America to hurry up. He smiled and kissed the top of his head, still a easy feat for teh much taller Russian. He had gotten the western states back, was was working on the Midwest. He sighed and took a swig of vodka, not enough to have any affect, but enough to make him happy. He smield. "Come on, I have a gift for you" He said, America was going to be braking away from him soon, so he might as well give him the gift to help him. They as usual took a cab, he loved that America spoke Russian, but now he could not hid anything with the language. He told teh driver to head for the horbor. His goverment told him that he was to not give any part of his military to America anymore, but this would be his last official gift to America. He smield softly, "This gift is to protect youself, dont threten anyone with it, you are to remain peacful,Da?" He said, but that was the last of his rules and scolding. "Remember, when you first came to Russia, " He said, smiling

America shifted his eyes to Russia and smiled, wiping his head from the kiss but continuing to smiled, "I kinda get a bit old for that right brother?" still liking the the attention. He hurried and put his coat on and followed Russia, he learned Russia and often would catch himself listening into Russia's conversations, but would get bored since they were about military etc. He saw the familiar flask,which he learned in his time in Russia, that it was vodka. He said, "Whoa, a present!" he grinned excited and wondered what it was. Russia was always there to protect him and he showed him a lot of new things, but he always wondered if he could just have a country of his own, without Russia's help? He nodded, he didn't like to start trouble unless he needed to get involved, something about stepping in to save other people, he didn't know what it was. He was wondering where Russia was getting at with all these questions, "Da, I remember."

"And do you remember how I said that one day, you could have a ship?" He said softly, the harbor coming up in the distance. This was by far the biggest gift he had given the other nation, but it was a battle ship, so his government paid the price. He sighed and twisted a strand of Americas hair. He though about all the times America asked him questions that he didnt want to answer, but, he was a big nation now, so he would tell him. He smiled sadly, wondering rather or rather not America would even accept it. He sighed and guessed that he would find out soon enough. They Cab driver stopped and they got out. "This is for your army, not for you to go blow a nation up with" He remnided

America's eyes widen,"You did not!?" then averted his eyes to the front and saw the upcoming harbor. The big black ships, he had always admired them from a distance for being so massive. But this was defiantly the biggest present his brother had every gotten him, he wondered when he could start attending the World Meetings. America smiled his liked it when Russia played with his hair. If Russia was giving it to him, it would be rude to decline, but he defiantly owed Russia one, maybe when he was a big and powerful nation like Russia, he could pay him back. America looked up at the ship, he wasn't going to blow nations up but it would be cool to see and for once was speechless.

Russia walked up in to the ship. "And its all yours,America" He said eyes looking more sad than anything, each step he took, he was closer to having to tell America what happened... He walked on the deck of the ship. He sigehd and looked down, arms folded across his back. He took a seat, looking at the unusable sunny day about the ocean. He looked at America. "You can explor your ship, but I need to talk to you,Da?" He asked, it not being a question though. He walked around the deck, following America.

America looked in awe at thee ship, he had been on the before sure, but this one was his a giant smile crept on his face and he couldn't seem to get rid of it. Russia said he could explore, but he needed to talk. He went over to where the Russian was sitting and sat down took so that he was facing him, his smile spread across his face and asked, "What is it?" maybe talking about peace and stuff.

Russia didn't say anything for a long, long time. He kept looking up at the sky, not seeing anything but a bird or a plain. Russia took a deep breath in. "America, do you remember what happened before I found you?" He asked, knowing that he didn't know. He looked over at America "Im going to tell you about the old America" He said softly. "You and him are the same person, the same nation, just....a new life of that person..." He started, he looked back up at the sky, and told America everything, all the murder, Americas suicide, his bosses, his old boss, America getting drunk, Americas ghost, all of it. He couldn't look at America, not daring to see what his face looked like. He shivered thinking about it "America, you and I use to be lovers, and you killed yourself, I brought you back, and here you are, my little brother." He said, finally turning over to America, face expressionless

America looked over at Russia and he shook his head 'no' he didn't remember anything before. All he remembered was waking up in the cold snow and Russia finding him. He knew there was another America before him, but he didn't mention him because Russia always seemed sad when he did and always avoided talking about him, but now he was on discussion. He blinked in surprise, didn't know he and the other were the same person. And then when he found out about he committed suicide and all the awful things that had happened and he was in utter shock, no wonder Russia didn't like to talk about. His ears perked up when he found out the others were lovers and his stomach dropped. He and Russia were...lovers? But on T.V they said men couldn't be together. He felt some what sad and disappointed, he was only brought back in order for Russia to regain what he had lost and the only reason Russia was taking care of him was in hopes that he would turn out like his old America. America couldn't say anything, he didn't know if he was becoming what Russia wanted i order to become his lover, but he didn't know, this was his older brother, he was extrememly conflicted, he frowned and didn't say anything to the Russia. What if he wasn't turning out the way his brother wanted him to, like the old America, would he just leave him alone or abandon him?

Russia kept looking up at the sky, clouds rolling around slowly and turning the weather warm. He felt like crying, the choking felling covering his neck. He sighed shakly. "Your almost to the age where you will go one by yourself, an lived in your own nation." He glanced at America. "You are free to travel, meet other nations, and go to the world meetings, you can always ask me for help, Your my little brother and my alli, your a big nation now, you dont have to stay." He said softly, stnading up and walking over to America, leanding over and kissing to top of his head. Turning out to the water and savoring teh felling of the ship lazly moving up and down with the waves, "You are free, America, you are your own nation" He said sadly, but now he knew, nothing could hide it. He sighed and turned back to America.

America couldn't help but feel bad, for Russia, and for himself. He didn't meet Russia's gaze as he said that he was almost at age. Then he said that he was free to meet other nations and travel and looked at the Russian for clarification on what he meant. When he said he could always ask him for help, it was beginning to sound to him like a good bye. He wanted to stay with Russia, he had always been with Russia and didn't know how to be on his own. He face stay seldom as Russia had kissed his forehead, like he had done so many times before. And when he said he was free that had done him in. His fears were becoming reality, he wasn't becoming like the old America and now Russia didn't want him as a bad reminder of his past lover, "W...Wait, I'm just a kid, you can't leave me by myself." he pleaded.

Russia smield a sad smile, "Your going to be fine, you are going to grow up to be a strong nation, bigger and stronger than me..." He cooed softly. "You can always ask for help form me and I will do anything to keep you safe, but you can keep yourself safe now" He said sadly, he would always love America, but he would end up braking away from him eveuatly. He sat next to America, "Your not a kid anymore, America" He said softly, he was getting to be a storng nation. He remebrd the days when America was only a few feet high and would run and play in to snow and smile. He closed his eyes and pushed the bottom 1/2 of his face in to the scarf. "The old America was razed by England, you broke away and became your own nation, a super power." He said softly, not sure what else to say at this point.

America wondered, a strong nation, like Russia? But Russia was so powerful and he was so small, he honestly didn't think he could. He didn't know if he could do it on his own, but if Russia thought he could, he would try. He had grown but only a few feet over the years as more people from all over the World came to his country. He had seen a documentary on T.V (he watched a lot) about the American Revolution and the 13 colonies gaining independence from the UK. If it as true he was raised by England, England must have not done a good job if he started a war to get away from him. Running his own Nation would be difficult but he would gain power and grown to make Russia proud of him. He was now excited at the idea that he was going to be his own nation. Maybe one day he wouldn't follow behind Russia but walk next to him. He smiled and nodded enthusiastically, "I'm grow into a big nation and make you proud of me!"

Russia wiped his eyes before any tears could all. "Da, you are going to be the best nation the world has ever seen, hero" He said softly, not even knowing if America liked heros still... He stood up and put a had behind Americas neck. Smiling "If you want anything, please, call me and I will help" He said even more softly. He took a step away from America, "Your going to be fine" He said, mainly wanting to tell himself that America would be fine. He started to walk away, wiping his eyes again and biting his bottom lip. He knew so much about America, and about the other America. He started off the ship, crying a bit more when he was a few feet away from America.

'Hero' he had heard that word before(on T.V.) they were usually celebrated and they helped anyone who needed help, even though they didn't ask for help, they were always grateful to the hero in the end. He smiled, he hadn't saved anyone, but he intended on being the World's hero, helping anyone who needed it. He didn't want to call Russia for help, not even if he really needed it he wanted to do it on his own, to become a big Nations requires work and he would need to work hard to make Russia proud of him. He saw tears in the Russian's eyes, but didn't ask what was wrong, he was going to miss Russia, but the next time he saw him, he was going to be huge! He didn't say anything, not know what was appropriate to say, he didn't want to say goodbye, and sat alone on the boat with his thoughts.